Miroku's Prisoner of War
by 32-bit Mandarin Orange
Summary: ONESHOT SANMIR Take one extremely angry youkai exterminator and one extremely perverted monk. Put them together with her taking a bath and him taking her clothes hostage… (not a lemon! Promise!)


Well, I felt like taking a break from the two fics I've been writing because they're both so very _serious…I wanted to write something cute and lighthearted, so here it is! This is about as WAFFY as you get^^  It's rated for Miroku's perverted ways and a few cuss words^^ Enjoy it! _

They were way out in the mountains now. The air was thin and gauzy, but there was a feeling of crispness that left the travelers feeling relaxed. 

Well, _almost _all the travelers. 

But nothing could heal one of their frazzled nerves. Heat seemed to radiate off of her very skin, her companions knew instantly upon seeing her scrunched, drawn eyebrows and scowling mouth, that they should leave her alone. 

However, one rather dense specimen of the male population failed to see all these signs and cheerfully persisted to annoy her to no end. 

"Sango chan, look! See the flowers over there?" Miroku pointed his still in the direction of a field of electric blue flowers. 

She barely glanced in that direction, mumbling something unintelligible which sounded like "flower this." 

This scene had been repeating itself all day, but till, he kept fruitlessly trying to focus her attention towards something besides her smoldering anger, which he had no doubt was harbored towards him. 

What did I do this time? He wondered idly. If she wouldn't tell him, though he'd never know how to apologize for whatever it was he'd done. 

Even a screaming and a beating would have been better than this. But his efforts to induce even the smallest reaction out of her were failing-miserably. 

It was time to take drastic measures. 

Making sure her vision was still focused forward, he scooted closer to her and whispered, "Sango chan, something's bothering you, I can tell. Please tell me what it is." As he spoke, he let his hand wander over to her backside and fondle it gently. 

Sango let out a yelp and turned to him with blazing eyes. There was nothing new; Miroku braced himself for a bruise over the head or a smarting slap on the face. 

Surprisingly, he got neither. 

"That does it!" She shrieked, advancing on him like a lioness on her prey, "I'm so sick of this! Sick of you! Leave me alone already, and don't come back, you jerk! I hate you!!"

She than turned and stomped away, ahead of the group. Her stride was tense, full of angry energy. "We're setting up camp here!" She declared hotly, dropping her things on the ground. "I'll be back later! Come on, Kirara!" With that, she turned and waltzed away, the surprised eyes of her friends on her back. 

She was so angry, she didn't know where she was going. Simply letting her fury guide her, Sango blazed through the woods with a ferocious expression on her face. 

Normally, that latter incident wouldn't have upset her-as much. But it was simply the last straw on his list of offences from the last few days. 

Earlier, they had stopped at a village and the tired travelers were immediately offered lodging. 

But the jerk-he'd acted like he hadn't seen a female in weeks. As if _she_ wasn't good enough.

Okay, so there was the normal jealousy as she stood back and watched him pay attention to other girls. 

She hated it that this bothered her so much, but it did, and there was no point in denying that she had a crush on the jerk. Maybe more than that, but it was too early to tell. 

Did he have to make it so _obvious, though, that she was so terribly undesirable? _

She'd already been in a sour mood as it was from her exhaustion, but this curdled her mood further. 

To top it off was the lady who'd joined her on the front steps of the inn after she'd left in disgust. A matronly sort, she seemed to be about forty years her senior. 

"If he was my husband, I wouldn't let him behave like that. I'd go grab him. Come on, have a little spunk." She said this with wisdom and a hint of nostalgia. 

Sango was appalled. "I'm not-we're not-he's not mine!" She'd stammered, a blush staining her cheeks. 

The lady had grinned. "Well if he's not yours yet, go snatch him up before someone else does. He's cute, and there's a pretty long line of girls who'd be willing to have his child. 

"Mmmmph," Sango had replied, staring stonily at the stars. 

"You remind me of how I was at your age. Only difference was, I lost him."

She got up and left Sango sitting alone to wallow in bitterness. 

And he hadn't even come back that night at a decent hour. After midnight, when Kagome, Inuyasha, and Shippou were sound asleep, he'd stumbled into the room and fallen fast asleep. And, maddeningly enough, she knew, because she'd stayed awake waiting for him. Jerk. 

Sango ripped herself out of her angry thoughts. It's not even worth your time, she chided herself mentally, even though it was a lie and she knew it. 

Right in front of her was a stream leading into a small lake. As her eyes drank in the sight of the clear, sparkling water, she found herself wondering what it would feel like to go swimming in it. Just as well, for she realized just then that she hadn't had a bath an ages. 

Glancing around to make sure there were no watching monk eyes in sight, she quickly stripped and folded her clothes neatly in a pile next to the lake. 

Than she took a deep breath and dove in. 

The water was shockingly cool. It penetrated through her bones and made her face feel frozen, but at the same time, it felt so refreshing. It seemed to wash away all her angry distress instantly. 

Forget him, she thought, and this time, she thought she might even be able to. 

But of course, she couldn't. 

When Sango surfaced after swimming for a good half hour, she saw a pair of _very _interested eyes staring at her from the shore. 

"You pervert!" She screamed, listening to her voice echoing against the trees. 

He shouted something back to her, and she yelled, "Go away!" 

But he didn't. 

She wondered how much he'd seen. He wasn't anywhere in sight when she'd gotten into the water, but he might have been hiding really well. 

I'll kill him, she thought ferociously. After all that, and now he has the nerve to come and spy on me when I'm taking a bath. 

So she continued to swim, ignoring him, until the water started to turn her lips blue. 

Now she_ had to talk to him. Damn. _

She had cooled down a little bit, but she was still mad at the jerk because he wouldn't leave. 

Swimming over to the lakeshore, she surfaced; making sure her chest was submerged. That would have been just what he wanted. 

"Can you please leave now so I can get dressed?" 

She could have sworn that she saw the idea passing through his head, and mentally, she cursed. An evil smile lit up his usually calm face. 

"I won't leave unless you do one thing."

Her mouth dropped open. That evil, _evil bastard…_

"It's not what you think," he said quickly, "Just tell me one thing."

Okay, so maybe he wasn't so evil. But still…

"I can't believe you would stoop this low, houshi," she said coldly. 

"Just answer my question," he said.

"Fine!" she snapped, her fury all rushing back. Why had she almost forgiven him? He was being as much, if not more, of an idiot than he was last night. 

"Why do you hate me?"

It was so abrupt that all she could do was stare for a moment. Miroku held her gaze, waiting for an answer. Suddenly she realized that they were staring at one another, and blushed, much to her dismay.

"I never said I hate you," she said finally, angry that he had made her lose all her resolve. 

 "Yes you did," he insisted, "Right before you came here."

She tried to think back to what she'd said. She was so furious that words had just flown out of her mouth without even consenting to them…

_ Leave me alone already, and don't come back, you jerk! I hate you!!_

Ouch. Sango's eyes widened at the realization that she had indeed told him that she hated him. Well, at the moment, it had been true. He didn't know that she harbored a crush on him…and he wasn't going to, either. 

"Because you were acting like an asshole," she said bluntly, glaring at him. "There, I answered your stupid question. Now can you leave?"

He cocked his head to one side. "That was a completely unsatisfactory talk. But if you really want me to, I'll leave." He got up and turned around, but not before she noticed the small, neat pile of clothing she'd left at the bank was gone. 

"Hey! Wait a second! Where are you going with my clothes? Come back here!" Was it possible to be any angrier at him? She would have jumped out of there right now and given him a piece of her mind if she wasn't stark naked underneath the water. 

At first she thought that he would keep going, but he stopped and turned around slowly. "So you want me to come back now, hm? Make up your mind, Sango chan."

"No, I just want you to give me my clothes back and stop acting like an idiot!"

He sauntered over to the bank again, and with an infuriating slowness, sat back down. 

"Now can we talk?" He asked her, leaning forward earnestly. 

"Get your eyes off of me. I suppose you think you're awfully clever, don't you?" 

He simply smiled that innocent, charming smile that she'd always thought was so cute. 

Sighing in exasperation, she realized two things: She wasn't going to get out of this freezing cold water unless she started talking, and also, that Miroku must have been really bothered by that remark she'd made earlier. Or else he wouldn't have followed her all the way out here. 

"Fine," she said with a sigh, "We'll talk. What do you want to talk about?"

"Us."

 She stiffened up, and instantly a wave of something very odd rushed over her. In that one little word, he'd managed to completely immobilize her. 

"What is there to talk about?" She mumbled, glancing away. 

"Well, that is…" He said, faltering for words. She was glad to see him squirm for once. "I thought you liked me, at least a little. What's with the sudden change in heart?"

The water no longer felt so cold; in fact, she wanted to plunge her head underneath the water to escape his scrutiny and the heat in her cheeks. 

"You're the one who doesn't like me!" she blurted out. 

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

He seemed honestly confused, and she thought to herself he must have been a pretty good actor. 

"You know, I'm really tired of you acting so damn flirty. Can't you just pick one girl and stay with her? You'll never get anyone to bear your child that way."

He appeared to be thinking, and she waited eagerly for a response. "Well, that's the problem. I could pick a girl, but that girl doesn't like me. So I have to keep searching. Maybe that girl would get jealous and finally start to like me, was my thought. But since she doesn't care, who's stopping me from doing what I want?" he said nonchalantly, shrugging. 

Sango simply stared at him, but he just looked back at her, unnerved. 

"And that girl is…?" She already knew what he would say, but she needed to hear it out of his mouth. 

"You."

Now both of them were blushing, and Sango could no longer take it. She dunked her head underwater and stayed down there for as long as she could. 

When breath finally forced her to the surface, she had no ready response, but she felt like she had to say something…

"You-you…you like me?" She asked stupidly, even though it was apparent he did. 

Suddenly a grin split his face. "I'd say a lot more than just liking you, Sango chan."

"But I…" God! He made her so angry with his silly antics, but at least now she understood why he did all that stupid stuff…so it didn't bother her any more. 

But why couldn't she just say something? Anything? 

"Can I have my clothes back?" She whispered. 

For a second, neither of them said anything, but suddenly, she heard a small, pent up sound against Miroku's mouth. 

He tried to keep it in as long he could, but eventually Miroku erupted in laughter. "Sango-" he tried to say, but he could barely get a word out of his mouth as he doubled over in laughter.  

Her teeth chattered a little bit, but she managed a shaky giggle, for suddenly this whole situation was the funniest thing ever-the randomness of that statement after he'd just confessed his love for her. 

"Oh, Buddha…" he wiped the tears from his eyes and gazed down at her. "Here you go. I'll turn around and I'll stay over there till you're done."

"You'd better, or else I'll set Kirara loose on you," she growled.

He walked over to a stone nearby and sat down. And he actually kept his word, but that didn't keep him from making comments the whole time he was dressing. 

"My, Sango, if only you weren't so hard to get. If only you'd let me turn around right now. I can only imagine." And of course this whole thing was accompanied with sighs of pleasure. 

After she was done, she marched over to him and bonked him on the head with her fist. 

"Okay, Mr. Houshi P-Pervert, I'm d-done. You can t-turn around."

"You're soaking wet," he commented when he saw her, "Aren't you cold?" 

"Well, if y-you hadn't kept m-me in that freezing-g c-cold lake for so l-long…" she said between shivers. 

"Well, I don't want you to get freeze to death, Sango!" He said, standing up right away. 

"I-I-I…" her whole body was covered with goose bumps, and she could barely even talk. 

"Since it's all my fault in the first place, I don't think we should go anywhere with you in this condition. We should stay together and gather body heat so you can warm up."

She glanced at him warily. "W-what a p-poor excuse…"

He smiled, embarrassed. "What can I say? So will you do it, or will you freeze?"

She had to admit that the thought of snuggling with him, submerged in his warmth, seemed extremely appealing."F-f-fine…" 

He sat down with his back to the rock and gestured for her to sit in front of him. She scooted back until she was leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arms over her and pressed her in close to him. She rested her arms on his legs on either side of her and laid back further, closer, so they were so close they were almost one person. So close, she could hear his heart beating. Beating very fast. 

An internal shiver shot down her spine and spread throughout her whole body as she cuddled in closer. Kirara jumped into her lap and she lay there contentedly, purring softly. If Sango could make the same noise right at that moment, she would. 

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the things that could only be noticed at this magnitude of closeness. 

Their breaths, rhythmically going in and out, and every time he took a breath, his chest making her head move up and down. The smell of him, which was  something pleasant that she'd only smelled a few times, and only at this distance. The warmth that seemed to envelop her the moment she got into his arms. 

"Sango, you're still shivering," he murmured into her hair, "Maybe we should go back to camp so you can get into a blanket." She enjoyed the feel of his voice reverberating through her ear, and it sent another shiver through her. 

"I'm warm," she said, "but that doesn't stop me from shivering."

"Why?"

"You, Miroku! I've always imagined what this would feel like." Suddenly she blushed, realizing what a personal bit of information she'd just shared with him. "Sometimes imagined I mean," she stammered out as an afterthought. 

He gave her an extra squeeze and than released her. "We'd better get going back. The others must be wondering about us."

She turned around to face him. "I don't want to go just yet."

"Yeah…well…me neither, but we must."

Still, neither of them moved from their spot. 

Sango studied his face and wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was. Heart beating loudly in her throat, she realized he was- their faces were drawing closer, closer, as if held together by a magnet. 

She saw his eyes close and she wrapped her arms around his neck, and taking a deep breath…

"Hey, Sango, Miroku! Where are you guys?" Inuyasha, Kagome and Shippou tramped through the shrubs, catching Miroku and Sango dead in the moment. 

Quickly they snatched themselves away from one another and stood up, trying to act nonchalant, but their reddened faces gave them both away. 

"We were just- It's not what it looks like!" Sango stuttered, while Miroku said "We were just sitting here, talking, when you guys had to come along and…"

Inuyasha smirked and nodded while Kagome tried to cover up a giggle. "What were they doing, Kagome? Kagome, what were they doing?" Shippou asked, tugging at her skirt. 

"We'll leave you alone," said Kagome, embarrassed. As she walked away, she mumbled "Crap! I ruined the mood!" 

Inuyasha kept smirking, which seemed to irritate Miroku. "If you have something funny to say, I would suggest saying it now," he said testily, but that only made his grin grow broader.

"Just talking, eh?"

Sango shrugged and smiled. "Whatever, let's just get going back to camp now," she said, pulling Miroku in the direction Kagome and Shippou had disappeared to. 

As she walked, she let go of Miroku's sleeve and glanced up at the sky. The sunlight was filtering through the trees, making pretty little rays of light going down to the ground. _We were so close! _She thought, blushing, _Oh__ well, there's always next time…_

I'm thinking of writing a sequal…for next time that is ^_^ Tell me what you think! 

x~Aurora chan 


End file.
